...

If we value the pursuit of knowledge, we must be free to follow wherever that search may lead us. ~ Adlai Stevenson

Monday, July 31, 2006

Private or charter school...

The debate continues. There are benefits to both, and drawbacks to both, so choosing isn't easy. If we go with the private school option, I don't have to file any paperwork until October of 2007, and C.O. has already named the school - OakLeaf School. However, then it really is up to me to make sure they're learning what they should.
My interview today went pretty well, I think. If they liked me enough, they'll call me back for a second interview with the director. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm in the throes of writing my mom a letter explaining homeschooling - how and why we want to do it. Hopefully she'll come around to the idea. She loves spending time with the elflings, and having C.O. gone more than half the day will make it much harder to have that time. I am trying to be gentle and nonconfrontational about it.
Anyone out there who reads this and has opinions on private vs charter, let me know!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

I'm past the crying stage...

I wrote a letter to the human resources department today, asking if there's any way I could have the job on a trial basis for maybe six months, during which time I will make every effort to show them that 1. I can do the job (which I think the people I actually work with already know), and 2. I really am working to improve my stupid credit.

On the other hand, I have an interview Monday for a 15 hour a week job with the Sonoma County Office of Education. So we'll see how that goes. I got a letter of recommendation from my current boss, which should help.

Also today, we added a new member to our family. His name is Donovan, he's nine weeks old, fog grey and very fluffy. He's beautiful! He's used to kids and dogs so the adjustment is going well. I also filled out paperwork for Pathways, so we'll see if we get in. I'll only have to take C.O. in to meet with a teacher once a month, and from all the paperwork, etc., I'll still be doing most of the actual lesson planning/curriculum development. If we like it, we'll stick with it, if not, we're free to legally withdraw at any time.

Thanks to my two commentators for the sympathy. Today I am in more of a spot where I can actually believe that there are other options out there!

Friday, July 28, 2006

I just want to cry...

and cry and cry. I really wanted this job - it was my dream job, with good pay, flexible part-time hours, good coworkers, and so on. I don't get to have it. Why? Because I am poor. Because I have been the only financial support for my family for over two years. Because I have past medical bills I can't pay right now. Not because I am a criminal, not because I have a poor record of employment, but because I am not financially blessed. I am less than $6,000 in debt, total, which is far less than most Americans. I have one past due credit card. ONE. I don't lie, cheat or steal. I work hard, I have excellent work attendance. Not good enough. Because I have a bad credit report, I get treated like I have been a criminal, like I'm going to rob or otherwise injure the American Heart Association.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Check out this link...

and let me know what you think - Pathways. Just another thing for me to consider! I think it has it's pros and cons, so I'll have to think some more.

I am so sleepy today! I can't really focus on much of anything. I am spending much of my free time researching every homeschool resource I can find (hence the link above), from workbooks, to computer games, to TV shows, and everything in between! I did get advice from a legal source on withdrawing C.O. from school - easy enough since he's never attended it yet! Now, convincing my family is another thing. My mom has always seemed supportive of the general idea of homeschooling, but suddenly she's not. She's worried about the whole socialization-will-I-be-turning-my-kids-into-freaks thing, I guess. Since she is one of the major influences in their lives, this has got me kind of worried. Another reason to consider the link above, as they offer some supplemental classes so yes, for once and for all, my kids will be "socialized", not that they aren't already. They get along well with people from all age groups, backgrounds, etc. Both kids are friendly and pretty outgoing.

Still waiting to find out if I get to keep this job. No letter of confirmation or refusal yet, no response to the voicemail I left yesterday. Speaking of jobs, I guess I had better get back to work!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Job description I got in my email today...

Just thought I'd share!
POSITION : Mother, Mum, Mama, Mummy, Mommy, Mom, Ma
JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES : The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION : Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS : While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the Mums you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated

Thursday, July 20, 2006

I've been...

doing a lot of inner work with my Medicine Cards lately. M says he hates them because they're always right and it freaks him out, but I enjoy them. I think that these, along with tarot and other divination cards, are great tools for delving into the subconcious. I don't think that they give me messages from somewhere else - it all comes from within, and how you interpret the message you're giving yourself, if that makes any sense at all.
Anyhow, it's interesting - the spread I did last night told me that 1. recently I have had trouble with staying true to myself and the path I have chosen. True - look at my internal/external debate over homeschooling. Since I settled back into the path I laid out more than 5 years ago, I have felt much more comfortable. Then 2. I need to be around people of my own gender more, and to draw on the energies of being around other women, which I find interesting because the office I work in has no men. Finally, 3. I need to respect myself and others fully. This is always true, and no, I don't think I have a lot of self-respect, and yes, I do sometimes make snide judgements about others. Lot to think about anyway. I keep getting the Beaver card too, which is about teamwork. Teamwork at home, in the offie, in life in general.
On another topic, I've lost 8 pounds thus far. Just plain healthy eating, and a little more exercise, though I could be doing more.
Yet another topic - do you let your kids watch TV? Limited or unlimited time and/or topics? I do let mine watch some, a few nights a week before bed, but only tapes/dvds, and some educational programming. Last night they watched The Great Muppet Caper, which they thought was hilarious. I don't believe in plopping my elflings down in front of a TV screen mindlessly day in and day out, and frankly I find the amount of television kids supposedly watch (like 5 hours a day) is far too much. And then people wonder why childhood obesity rates are soaring! Children should be encouraged to use their minds and bodies actively, not be encouraged to vegetate in front of a box.
Stepping down off my soapbox for the day.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Playing around with my blog...

Let me know what you think off the groovy new colors!

Monday, July 17, 2006

Okay, adding one thing to the curriculum...

that I plan to buy or otherwise find - a phonics program. I am debating between 3 - Explode the Code, Alpha-Phonics, and Phonics Pathways. The kids are doing some phonics with my mom already, so this will tie in nicely, plus C.O. really wants to learn how to read. I read all the reviews at Amazon before settling down to these three, and believe me, that took a while! Now, choosing which to start with/try... well, I think I need to see if the local library has any of these, so I can actually see them before spending money I already don't have. Other than that, I am making a list of odds and ends we need for our home "school", like crayons, pencils, etc. Might as well start stocking up now! There's actually a school supply store about a mile from my house that I really want to check out. I remember going there as a kid, with my dad, who was a high school chemistry & physics teacher. I need to print up calendar pages for my record-keeping and planning stuff too.

I really, really thought about unschooling, but try as I might, it just doesn't sit on me comfortably. I want to know where my kids would fit into the school system should they choose to go later on. Maybe I am just paranoid, or overly worrisome, but that's just how I am.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Yesterday...

M & I took the kids, and our dog Pippi, out to the coast for the late afternoon-early evening. What a perfect way to end the weekend! We go to this little, quiet beach, that has a giant rock with a natural blow-hole/vent in it - really cool to see the waves hitting it, and watching the spray rise through the vent. Yesterday it was more populated than I've ever seen it before, but it's still quiet. The kids dug in the sand, buried their feet to make caves, and played in the waves. C.J. has always shied away from the water, but this time she started running up, holding my hand, to dip her toes in the cold, cold water, and then we'd run away again. Now she loves the water!
I got a few minutes too, to climb up on a rock a tiny ways out in the water, so I could just have some peace, watching the waves surge around the rock. I needed that - the ocean always been very grounding to me... I have a sense of oneness and peace/calm there that I never feel anywhere else.
On the way home, with the kids drowsy from the heat and playing, we talked about homeschooling some more, and decided to maybe start with a unit (I like the idea of unit studies) on Native Americans, finishing it off with a "feast" on the Autumn Equinox. Some ideas - go to the library to get books about Native American life (pre-Columbian), read some Native American stories/legends, build a model of a tipi, grind some corn for bread/corn cakes, do some artwork, maybe watch a movie if I can find a good one, go visit the Miwok Village out at Point Reyes. I have decided that the only actual curriculum I plan on buying will be Singapore Math. Other than that, there are so many resources out there! I may join the local homeschool association, so I have access to even more resources. It feels right for us, and I think we'll really enjoy the homeschooling journey.
We're also going to check out Spiral Scouts for the kids. There's a local meeting in a couple of weeks, and we'll see how we like it, what we think of the other people involved, and how the kids feel about it after that. I'm not sure what it will be like - I have mixed feelings on getting the kids involved in too much right now, so I'll just have to see.
I made the most awesome bluberry-banana muffins last night for the kids' breakfasts this week. I was out of applesauce, so I used mashed mango, substituted sour cream for yogurt (which I was also out of) and used blueberries instead of chopped dates, because none of us like dates. I also added a little ground flaxseed and wheatgerm. They came out really good though! I used all whole wheat flour last week, and the muffins I made were just too heavy, so I used half unbleached all-purpose this week, and they are much fluffier and softer. I figure with the fruit and all my add-ins, they're still pretty darn healthy!

Thursday, July 6, 2006

Feeling better today...

I talked to our exec director this morning - they still really want to hire me, but she is already over budget on my temp time here. So, she's keeping me through the end of next week at a minimum. If I get the letter before then, reply to it, etc., things will start moving along. If things are taking too long, then yes, I will have to temp somewhere else for a week or two. So I called the temp agency and told them that I'll probably be available for work the week after next. My thought on all this... PHHHHEEEEWWWWW. At least I may still get my job! I did get a couple of (little) things straightened out on the credit report already, so that should help.

I really think we're going to go ahead with homeschooling. I have such a sense of excitement and good anticipation about it that it seems wrong to go another direction right now. I still have a while to figure it out too, and to continue talking it over with C.O.. I want to do what is really right for him, not necessarily what is right for other people. It'll give everyone that loves him so much more time with him, like me, M, my mom, etc.

So yes, I am feeling better today, more on an even keel.

Wednesday, July 5, 2006

I don't know what to do...

First, it looks like I'll have to find another temp job for now. There's a holdup on my dream job due to bad credit, which I am working to rectify, but it takes so long. There's a letter being sent to me, and then I have to write a letter back, etc., but in the meantime, from conversations I've overheard, the AHA doesn't have money in the budget to keep me on as a temp. This totally sucks, because they're not telling me this to my face yet, and if they're not going to keep me right now, I need to let the temp agency know so I can get other work. M still doesn't have work, despite sending out a bunch of applications and calling the temp agency every week with his availability, so we're depending on having money coming in from me.

Second, I am still torn in homeschooling versus public schooling. I guess a lot of it depends on how much I will actually be working. I had always planned, before even getting pregnant with C.O., on homeschooling. Then I guess I fell into that thing where everyone's saying "have you enrolled him in school yet?" and so forth, and I started doubting myself. There are so many fun things I would like to do with the kids as far as homeschooling goes, but then I worry that they won't be properly socialized, or they'll fall behind, even though they are ahead right now, intellectually. C.O. isn't sure either what he wants to do, but then he's 5, so I don't expect him to know what kind of schooling he really is ready for.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Monday, July 3, 2006

Newer pictures of my elflings...






















The black and white pics are from C.O.'s 5th birthday, on a train. C.O.'s other picture is from last week, and the color picture of C.J. is her at the beach with a "birthday cake" she made.